Tasmanian Lizard

Paying attention

I notice things these days; Unplanned events that would need a lot of planning to actually happen, but no one is planning them. The idea that they actually happen seem amazing to me, almost magical.
List of possibilities:
  • It is all coincidence and I have learned the game of matching the details to look like they mean something.
  • The multi-layered world we live in is dropping some layers of confusion, making these louder details harder to not see (think about that one for a bit).
  • They always existed, I have just taught myself to be more aware of these things.
Here is an example of the clarity.
I wake up, walk sleepy eyed to the kitchen and a wood slave is hanging out in my Nutra Ninja cup. You know, the cup that holds the smoothie you make every morning. A wood slave, for those that are not familiar with southern critters, looks like if a snake and a lizard mated. They slither back and forth when they move.
Creepy.
I know a wood slave IS actually a lizard but I  want you to imagine a snake mating with a cute lizard, the kind from the Geico commercial. I love lizards and snakes but put the two together and I will scream if they come my way. This morning I don’t scream because he clearly cannot come my way. He is stuck. I find this amusing. I casually cover this cup with a magazine so he cannot escape, which is silly because clearly he cannot escape or I would not be looking at this night creature in the fresh morning sun. He would have been long gone if he had the means. His sticky feet that allow him to slither on walls are powerless on this polypropylene plastic. I carry this scared little guy in his new horror house outside to get a picture to prove his existence to my sister. I will explain in a minute.
For now…I get lost in his little scared self. His tiny heart is beating madly so I simply must video him. This is my Cruella side.
He seems to freeze, natures survival technique to ensure the heart muscle doesn’t burst his little pipes.
I am the observer. I clearly see the rarity of stars aligning to make this lizard in a bottle even part of my reality.
A week ago I walked into my sisters bathroom, turned on the light and screamed when I saw a wood slave slither up the wall next to the sink. It made a quick turn left, ran all the way across the wall above the double sink mirror and kept going. Its aim was three heavy pictures that hung by the tub. Ceramic starfishes were centered on mirrors with thick black frames, a perfect place for any respectable wood slave to hide if he wasn’t freaked out by a loud screaming human. This super freaked out wood slave now moving 90 miles an hour crashed into the middle picture sending this starfish off its tiny nails, crashing into the lower weakly hung picture, sending it crashing into the tub. First picture somehow cradled by the towel rack, the other slid the entire length of the tub.

Imagine black skid marks in a white tub, a one inch black mark left behind by initial impact and broken mirror sprinkled somewhat evenly behind this now drain-grounded photo, all in a seconds time.

Somewhere a beating heart is pounding on a frozen wood slave. After the shock of what just happened starts to wear off me, I look for the little guy. Slowly I peer around doors and toilet photos. This little guy is nowhere I can find. I run and grab my camera to take photos as proof this just happened. Next I take down what pictures are left on the wall so as not to repeat said experience.

This all stays exactly as it lands for over five days. I just can’t bring myself to clean it up probably because that would make it real. That would mean it really happened. Yes I told my sister about it. She said she believed me because she didn’t think it possible to make up such a story. She ask if I caught it. I said no and wondered if she even knew what a wood slave was because the only way to capture this Tasmanian lizard was to clobber it at a speed its equal which would not be pleasing to the wall. This is my sister’s house I am renting for the summer while she lives in her summer-house up north. This is exactly why I don’t like renting from family. Pile on the hole in the screen the pool girl left behind from the long-handled skimmer two days after the scream and these phone calls of “guess what happened now?” become torture.
Lets fast forward to today. My little gift in the cup makes me a keen observer in the absurdity called life.
~~~What are the chances of a not-Geico Gecko running at lightning speed causing mass destruction?
I was wishing for some sort of proof for my sister…delivered unharmed?
~~~What are the chances that same mutant lizard would hop from the deserted coffee maker to the jar of instant coffee then hop into the Ninja blender cup that almost always has the blade screwed onto it? That is the only place in this house that this X-Men like lizard cousin could NOT escape.
And yet, here we are, getting our first movie debut.
The absurdity of this moment has also NOT escaped.

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